Once Upon A Time, Daddy Wished You Were Dead

Now, this is awkward. Mom wants to tell daughter they considered aborting her. Dad wonders if he should be the one to break the news to her that he and her Mom considered ripping her limb from limb. What to do? What to do? Here’s the very real letter to Dear Abby:

DEAR ABBY: I am 45 and currently going through a divorce. My soon-to-be ex-wife and I have a 14-year-old daughter, “Gina,” and I have custody.

Fourteen years ago, when my wife became pregnant with Gina, we had talked about abortion. We even had an appointment scheduled, but on the day of the appointment we decided not to go through with it. I thank God that we did have our child.

Gina knows nothing about any of this, but my future ex has threatened to tell her. My daughter is mature for her age and intelligent, but I feel the time is not right for her to know. Given the situation, I feel she should hear it from me because of the close relationship we have.

Do you agree that the news should wait until the divorce is final and the dust settles, or should I tell her now? — DADDY WHO CARES

CMR’s Response: Dear Daddy Who Cares,

Let me see if I can put this kindly. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND? Seriously. Get yourself checked into the booby hatch if you consider for one second telling your daughter you considered having her ripped limb from limb because of whatever reason (any reason including you felt you were too young, the band was really starting to gel and you really thought that if you just get on the Mike Douglas show everything would really take off, you secretly hated your wife…whatever.)

The only reason allowable to tell her this is if you’re warning her because you’re considering killing her again but since she’s 14, I think that’s only legal at this late stage in New York and California and maybe Vermont.

I thank God too that you didn’t go ahead with killing your daughter. And I’ll pray to God you don’t go ahead and tell her.

Dude, she’s 14. That’s about the toughest age you get. She’s hitting puberty, she’s already getting all confused about the world as well as going through all the issues related to divorce. And you pick this moment to let her know that Mommy and Daddy considered giving her an acid bath?

Here’s all the lessons I’ve learned in my life. It’s short because I’m pretty stupid. Ready?

It’s not about you.

That’s it. It’s not about you. Once you have children they are your responsibility. And the world stops revolving around you and all your troubles.

You’re a father. Act like it. Fathers protect their daughters. And daughters need to feel protected. If you take that away from her, God help her and you.

6 thoughts on “Once Upon A Time, Daddy Wished You Were Dead

  1. When the signatories of the Humanist Manifesto got control of our universities they taught their students to legislate Darwinian Humanism. The humanists have successfully removed the belief in God and the Moral Law from society. Remove God from the culture and it becomes godless. There is a direct causal connection between Darwinian Humanism and abortion on demand. Which one of the signatories of the Manifesto truly believes his mother should have killed him in her womb? I resent our education establishments teaching abortion on demand to our kids in schools.

  2. There are many parents out there with the same question or rather dark secret about having wanted to abort their children. It is a valid question whether or not to eventually tell the child because sometimes these secrets have a way of making themselves known at the most inopportune times. It is better to choose the timing than to have it errupt in a crisis situation.

    Having said that, I do know of a person whose parents told him that not only did they want to abort him (because he came later in their lives and they thought they were finished with diapers), but that an attempt to abort was actually made, and he survived it! They also told him what a blessing he was to their lives once he arrived and that they were very glad things turned out the way they did. Strangely, this person however is still not prolife by any means and still considers that the fetus is NOT a person.

    This goes to show that spiritual or even intellectual blindness is not limited to the undereducated. Some people have a psychological block to understanding these things. One would have thought that he would object strongly to abortion, having been almost made a victim of one.

    I think compassion is always appropriate in circumstances like these. Look, the parents made a mistake in considering abortion. They admit it was a mistake. They now want to protect their daughter from finding this out from someone other than themselves. If it is likely she will be told by someone else, then it may be prudent to be proactive.

    Most people question their existence at one time or another. It is not an unhealthy enquirey and generally leads to an acceptance of who we are and where we are in life. There is always a reason to be down on ourselves and a reason to be grateful for who we are.

    Truth is a good thing, even if it is an ugly truth. It’s what use we make of the truth that counts.

  3. The wife is threatening to tell her, that was the source of the conundrum. Absent that important little tidbit, this clearly would not have been in question.

    You’re right, you are pretty stupid.

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