Dressing modestly

This page is essential reading, especially for youth. It was written by a man who had some great insight on the importance of dressing modestly. Here’s a great quote:

I’ve read tens of thousands of pages of theology and sex ed, but I never learned how to treat a woman until I dated one who dressed modestly. It was captivating, and I realized for the first time that immodest dress gets in the way of seeing a woman for whom she is. Immodest outfits might attract a man to a girl’s body, but it distracts him from seeing her as a person. As one man said, “If you want a man to respect you, and perhaps eventually fall in love with you, then you must show him that you respect yourself and that you recognize your dignity before God.”ii

A woman who dresses modestly inspires a guy in a way that I’m not ashamed to admit I cannot explain. I suppose it is safe to say that it conveys your worth to us. When a woman dresses modestly, I can take her seriously as a woman because she isn’t preoccupied with clamoring for attention. Such humility is radiant. Unfortunately, many women are so preoccupied with turning men’s heads that they overlook their power to turn our hearts. (Source)

That sentence in red is the keeper. I’ve experienced that too. And any honest gentleman who carefully searches his heart will know it to be true.

Dear women, physical beauty is great but if you want to be loved for more than your body, then you shouldn’t make it so preponderant.

If you’re sick of dating guys who are losers and obsessed with sex, maybe you should start by asking yourself if the way you dress is attracting the wrong crowd. Ask yourself honestly: do you want to be stared at like a pin-up or do you want to be loved unconditionally for who you are?

I leave you with this thought:

Let’s assume that a girl dresses provocatively and she comes across a genuinely good man. The man is no better off because of her outfit. Men are more visually stimulated than women, and immodesty can easily trigger lustful thoughts. When men harbor these impure ideas, lust separates us from Christ, the source of unconditional love. Does a woman really want to separate men from the source of the unconditional love that she seeks? If not, then why not opt for the more modest outfit? There’s nothing wrong with wearing things that make you look attractive, but as a Christian woman, seductive and sexy outfits should not be part of your wardrobe. If your heart is saying, “Is this too short?” or “Does this look too tight?”, listen to that voice. It has already answered your question.

5 thoughts on “Dressing modestly

  1. The Landers did some mission work in The Republic of Namibia in South Africa during the summers. The people there are good looking and wear little clothing. People who don’t have lust mastered should not teach here. They would be goners unless they had mentors like Tom and Molly.

  2. Great post, Steve, very helpful for men of all ages and even for women. Maybe if they dressed modestly there would be less rapes.

  3. Blame the victim is not the answer here, but having a morality that gives one the worldview and the ability to save oneself for the one God has saved for them. I have seen pictures of the people who have become believers in Namibia from Tom and Molly’s personal efforts and time. They don’t behave as they used to and guess what they allow Jesus and The Holy Spirit to control them, because the consequences of life are now different for them in many ways. They now know that what is legal is not necessarily good or moral. Tom not only knew the original Biblical languages but the correct interpretation of them. Peace on earth to men of good will. What did God say to Cain: Did he not say something like Sin is looking for the occasion to control you, but you must learn to master it. Cain did not. Tom and Molly did not jump the bones of the beautiful naked people in Namibia, or allowed them to do the same. They shared Jesus with them in a loving and respectful way, allowing them to choose Jesus or Politically Correct Relativism. The laws of our country are becoming similar to that one, but what is legal is not always good or moral. We here live in a democracy that the citizens have allowed to be Politically Correct by court enforcement and government decree. Tom and Molly have made this World and Canada a better place for having lived in it. There is a Culture War raging in Canada and the World for the minds and souls of it’s people. We can only win by convincing people to join us showing them love and respect. We are responsible to Jesus to win the Culture War for humanities sake. The believers in Namibia dress and behave differently now, even though their laws permits a huge range of legal behavior as does ours.

  4. I appreciated Steve G’s post on modest dress because it was about the good effects it had on him as a man and wasnt all about pointing the finger at women.
    In my feminist days, I used to say a woman should be able to walk around naked without being assaulted if she wants, and many still feel this way. Although that statement is theoretically true (e.g. Namibia), the main point is the GOOD effects of modesty (e.g. human dignity and worth) not the poor control men have over their lustful thoughts.
    This being said, there are two things that should be kept in mind regarding modest dress. First, young girls have beautiful bodies as a generalrule,and could be looked at lustfully for that reason alone no matter what they wore. Just as teen-age boys revel in the awareness of their sudden male strength, in the same way, young girls are enchanted at the changes in their bodies that make them suddenly so lovely. Second, these young girls have very little awareness of male psychology and how much more “visual” men are. (plus it is hard to find new clothes that are NOT in the current latest immodest styles.
    In conclusion, I have a little story. This past Sunday i was sitting in church when i noticed a teen-aged girl wearing tight, short jean shorts and a skintight, off-the-shoulder top with a plunging neckline. Looking more closely, I saw she appeared to be only about fourteen. I began to pray for her and God said “Do not judge this family for I am very pleased that they are here today.” The girl was accompanied by her teen-age brother,and a mother with a face that looked somewhat hard, like she had lived a lot. I recalled that I had noticed this young family the previous Sunday, so after Mass, I went over to welcome themto the parish. They were seating immediately behind the womanwho had sung the psalm for us and I stopped to thank her. When i turned to the new-comers, Lydia (the singer) introduced themas her daughter and two grandchildren. They had just moved here from Alberta after their life fell apart there and they are trying to find their feet again here.

    Praise God that He can always allow us to see past the clothes to the person if we let Him.

  5. I remember never feeling comfortable in my youth ,wearing
    tight fitting clothes, and I did not, but men still whistled at me
    and cat-called and it made me angry.

    I used to yell back “Are you calling your bird?”, or stop! I am not an animal. I

    It is not o.k. as a young woman or even more as an older woman to wear clothes that accentuate the cu8rves of my
    body and to try to attract males, because it says we are not to draw attention to our bodies in Mass.

    It is about reverence for our Blessed Lord and our Blessed Mother Mary.

    It does not help to pretend we are being loving by enabling our children or strangers to present themselves immodestly
    in Gods House. It is HOLY Mass we are participating in.

    I can remember years ago when I was 17 and had wandered away from the Faith of my childhood and I attended a Church in Toronto, probably Portuguese ( I am not sure) but it was very old- world and traditional and beautiful I might add and they did not have padded pews, but there was deep reverence for who God was and is and I was like a doubting Tom and was
    lost and rebellious, and defiant and the friend who brought me there brought me there to show me that God is
    real and could heal me,

    So I approached the Priest who was going to lay his hands on me and I had a black halter top on, not caring to WHOM`s, Real Presence I was in, and he did not bat an eye, and said seriously, `Go put something decent on before you present yourself in front of Our Blessed Holy Lord.` That stuck with me, and I have never forgotten it.

    Purity of mind body and Spirit is essential if we are to be
    taken seriously, and it is extremely important we have this attitude before Our Blessed Holy Trinity, and are consistent everywhere, when we can be.

    It is a sin for females to dress in ways that purposely cause men to engage lustful thoughts.

    If we do not teach this to youth and instead say we are being`tolerant`and maybe they will not return, then we are teaching them not to reverence Christ.

    It is insulting to me as a woman that other females do this,
    and it certainly ruins a females`witness.

    People have become so lax about parenting and enabling
    and people pleasing. It is like allowing people to gab and eat in Mass! This is never o.k. We are not in a movie theater,
    or a church basement. Walking around, as if God is o.k. with us flaunting our bodies is deception. He is very concerned how we dress.

    Please don`t throw the judgmental card up again on this one. For one, people judge all the time, and in Christ they are to make right judgments about what is right before God, and if they are unaware then they should be told.

    God comes first and He tells us how to dress as does Our Lady that please Him.

    I am not speaking about someone who does not know proper attire, I am talking about families I witness day after day, year after year who have children they have not
    taught this essential teaching.

    Also, One should read Gloria Polo`s book on the wicked hearts she and her girlfriends had in their youth when they made bets on how they could dress in certain ways to tempt Priests to lust after them.

    Girls look at your hearts, women too, and ask yourselves is Mother Mary pleased with how I dress and is Jesus.
    The Holy Spirit will tell you.

    In Jesus and Mary
    from Frances Wilkinson with
    gratitude my parents of origin taught me elegance is never immodest

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