Looking for real solutions to the marriage problem

One aspect that is sorrily missing from the Synod discussions is how to prevent future marriage breakdowns. Yes, some cardinals have spoken of the importance of educating the faithful on the meaning of marriage and sex, as well as improving marriage prep courses. That would be awesome. But it needs some teeth.

We need to treat marriage like a sacrament again. That means refusing the sacrament to those who aren’t prepared or who don’t have the proper dispositions. Yes, refusing the sacrament. We can do that, you know. The Church teaches that we can. In particular, couples cohabiting before marriage should be turned away until they accept and try to live Church teaching. That’s the loving and pastoral thing to do. If they refuse to be taught or to accept Church teaching on these crucial matters, why impose on them a burden of indissoluble commitment that they don’t have the capacity to bear?

Co-habiting couples have a 50% higher divorce rate. They often see co-habitation as a “trial period”, meaning that they’re not thinking in terms of lifetime commitment. Marrying these couples means that a huge chunk of them will be knocking on the Church’s doors in a few years seeking an annulment. Is that charitable? Is that merciful and pastoral? We’re just creating an assembly line to manufacture future annulment applicants.

Besides, if they’re living in a state of grave sin, they aren’t capable of receiving sanctifying grace. In other words, the graces of the sacrament won’t flow to them. So what exactly is the point? Are we marrying them so that their fornication turns into something legitimate? That sounds pretty flippant.

This idea isn’t so revolutionary. Some time ago, the Bishops of Pennsylvania issued a statement strongly discouraging co-habiting couples from getting married. The Bishops of Kansas did something very similar. We just need to take that extra step from “strongly encouraging” to forbidding.

Time to add some teeth.

5 thoughts on “Looking for real solutions to the marriage problem

  1. Question – Knowing that the clergy can tell that the people clearly are not ready, is it the Pastoral thing to do to turn them away, or to do as God would – educate them so that they clearly see that they are not ready, & then teach them the right ways?

    After all, we cannot build a skyscraper over a decrepit mansion, the bad has to be cleared away in order to build the new. Storms clear hazy atmospheric conditions the same way education fixes stupid.

    Most people are raised by the tv, their friends, the world around us all, & occasionally their parents. Most people today are not taught morals or values as the school thinks its the job of the parents who put the responsibility on the schools claiming social standards should do the trick.

    Life is precious, fleeting, & with the Age of Aquarius is eternal. People need to be taught that their life is valuable, & then taught the values they lack in order to not only succeed but excel in this life, for this life & its next.

    Wouldn’t you agree?

    • As I said in the first paragraph, and as I’ve written in other articles before, I’m all in favour of educating people.

      The problem is that some people don’t want to change. Let’s be honest with ourselves. How many co-habiting couples seeking marriage would move out and live separately and chastely to fulfil Christ’s call to holiness? For those people, we should deny them the sacrament until they get serious about their life with Jesus.

  2. How can we expect people to know that which they do not know that they didn’t know that they didn’t know??? They don’t know, right, so turning them away is actually worse than telling them truths they’re not going to want to hear, or you might not think that they’re ready for…but they could only need that one new path that they never would’ve thought of on their own to see a whole new way to live life.

    Totally agree with the separation part – no single man would stay faithful to themselves or their partner…they’d get lonely with their having yet to tame their inner beasts, our egos, the nature that man has always been to tame to find God.

    The women would be too worried about the love that they might lose to focus on their own relationship with our Father…since we’re raised to think that we can’t know the truth unfiltered until our bodies die, but that’s all about to change soon now isn’t it.

    No worries, our Creator designed these bodies & minds for His
    evolution of us.

    How is the church going to handle the transition of Ages over from Pisces to Aquarius? Are they prepared to forego long lived lies and find out what’s really going on for themselves, are you?

    Do you know to call out to That that is ACTUALLY responsible for all of the things that Truly exists. ..beyond our current level of comprehension…and Ask Them for something to still be able to BELIEVE IN for this life and for it’s next? The day our souls energy will be given back to us? The day of rage we’ll each & all feel as we’re shown the truth pf the lies we’ve been fed?

    Do you know to not act out in anger towards yourself or others?

    That this day of darkness, as confusing as it may sound to someone that is yet to live it firsthand, is a blessing and a gift too?

    Not that Jesus isn’t cool & somehow doesn’t want to save us…just that there’s a reason Rome has hidden texts of old from us all…will you be ready Sir? Will your friends, family, brethren, all knowing that that day is only ‘perceived’ darkness, that we can not become lighter than a feather without first being unearthed?

    Our True Creator did NOT send us here without knowing how They were going to get us out.

    It has never been for mankind to collect the souls of other men…words in books people have killed thousands over do not change this fact.

    We’ve all been lied too – & did you know that there’s a black pope? Weird right.

    • With all due respect you are being deceived Dawn. Your new age beliefs are deceptions from Hell. May the Holy Spirit intervene & lead you to the Truth of the Christian faith. Jesus Christ is the Son of God, no one comes to the Father except through Him.

  3. With all due respect Helene, you are wrong. I shared time & space with Him, seen His face and heard His words…the Holy Spirit is the one who took me, and someday will you too.

    I’ll simply say this – a lie is a lie, even if everyone believes it, as the truth is the truth, even if no one believes it.

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