What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
A: They both look good until they hit the ice.
What’s the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a cigarette vending machine?
A: The vending machine has Players!
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and whales have in common?
A: They both get totally confused when surrounded by ice.
Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs like Canada Post?
A: They both wear uniforms and don’t deliver!
Why doesn’t Hamilton have an professional hockey team?
A: Because then Toronto would want one.
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Argonauts and the Toronto Blue Jays all have in common besides being based in Toronto?
A. None of them can play hockey.
What do you call 30 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs?
A. The Toronto Maple Leafs.
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 20,000 people stand up and yell ‘Jesus Christ’.
How do you keep the Toronto Maple Leafs out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal net.
What do you call a Toronto Maple Leaf with a Stanley Cup ring?
A. A thief.
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
How many Toronto Maple Leafs does it take to win a Stanley Cup?
A. Nobody knows … And we may never find out.