One thought on “How the left-wing media would have reported Christmas if they had been there

  1. How His life would be covered in modern media:

    ESPN:
    Unwed Virgin Teen Miraculously Conceives: Is She On Steriods?

    Variety:
    Unwed Virgin Teen Miraculously Conceives
    Inspired, HBO Plans Mini-Series “Sex In Judea”

    AP:
    Miraculous Conception Proof Of Global Warming Says Al Gore

    NOW.com:
    Patriarchal Savior Born After Teen Fails To Exercise Her Right To Choose

    AP:
    Three Kings Bring Child Gifts Of Gold, Frankincense, And Myrrh
    Millions Wonder “What The Hell Are Frankincense And Myrrh?”

    AP:
    Jesus, Missing For 3 Days, Found by Parents In Temple
    Child Services Notified

    AP:
    ACLU Sues To Prevent Jesus From Attending Public Schools

    AP:
    Jesus Tempted To Turn Stones To Bread
    Lack Of Bread In Desert Proof Of Global Warming Says Al Gore

    AP:
    ‘Temptation In Desert’ Accounts “Too Biased Against Devil” Say Modern Moralists
    “Jesus And Satan Just Have Different Truths”

    Variety:
    Jesus Forgives Prostitute
    Inspired, HBO Plans Mini-Series “Hookers In Jerusalem”

    ESPN:
    Jesus Walks On Water: Is He On Steriods?

    Skeptical Inquirer:
    No Scientific Explanation For Jesus Walking On Water
    “We’ll make one up” vow Skeptics

    AP:
    Entire World Watches Sermon On The Mount Webcast
    Report: Only People On Earth Not Watching Were On Notre Dame Football Message Board Arguing About Future Football Schedules

    Wash. Post:
    Jesus’ Friend Lazarus Dies
    Bush To Blame

    Wash. Times:
    Jesus Brings Lazarus Back To Life
    Bush Deserves Credit

    AP:
    Jesus Names Fisherman As ‘Rock’ Of New Church
    PETA, Greenpeace Outraged

    ESPN Classic:
    Tonight at 8:30pm Eastern –
    Top 5 Reasons You Can’t Blame Judas For Betraying Jesus

    Variety:
    Jesus Stripped And Beaten
    Inspired, HBO Plans Mini-Series “G-String Divas In Bondage”

    ESPN.com:
    Vote: Who’s “Now”? ____ Jesus ____Barabbas

    AP:
    Johnnie Cochran Represents Caiaphas At Jesus’ Trial
    Tells Pilate “Jesus Ain’t Our Guy, So You Must Crucify”

    Coverage On ABC:
    Voiceover: “This crucifixion brought to you by Ace Hardware…..”

    New York Times:
    Jesus Crucified
    Women And Minorities Affected Most

    AP:
    Darkness, Earthquakes Accompanying Jesus’ Death Proof Of Global Warming Says Al Gore

    ESPN:
    Jesus Rises From Dead: Is He The Best Savior Ever?

    Skeptical Inquirer:
    Real Explanation For Jesus’ Resurrection Appearances
    “500 People All Had Identical Hallucinations At Same Time. No, really.” claim Skeptics

    Coverage On ABC:
    Voiceover: “This resurrection from the dead brought to you by Viagra…..”

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