Global warming spiralling out of control: other planets affected!

It’s time to head for the hills.  Man-made global warming has gotten so bad that even other planets are experiencing “climate change”!

NASA scientists have observed that temperatures on Mars have increased by about 0.5°C since the 1970s, which is similar to the warming on Earth over the same period.  Moreover, the polar caps on Mars have also been melting.  Good grief, too many SUVs on Mars too!  Those irresponsible Martians! (Is that a racist statement?  Will some Human Rights Commission be on my case for “hating” Martians?)

But wait, it gets worse!

According to NASA, the temperature on Triton, one of Neptune’s moons, increased dramatically between 1989 and 1998.  Temperatures rose by 5% over nine years.  To put that into perspective, such an increase would mean a whopping 12°C increase on Earth!  Could somebody please mail them some CFL bulbs!  Does The Home Depot ship to Triton?

A few years ago, we also learned that Pluto was warming up dramatically even as it moves farther from the Sun on its elliptical orbit.

In seemingly unrelated news, Jupiter has lost one of its giant red stripes.  I’m sure this is Man’s fault too.  After all, the climate folks on Earth attribute virtually anything to man-made global warming (rain, drought, heat, cold, snow, hurricanes and heck, even earthquakes) so I’m sure the missing stripe is our fault too…

Now that we’ve blown-off some hysterical steam, let’s look at the logical explanation.

Russian scientist Dr. Habibullo Abdussamatov says that the synchronized rising temperatures on Mars and Earth can only mean one thing:  both planets were being warmed by increased output from the Sun.  This is reinforced by other research showing that the brightness of Neptune has also increased, suggesting that stronger sunshine is leading to its higher reflectivity.

In all honesty, I’m sure that sci-fi writers can think of a few explanations of why several planets are warming simultaneously (maybe black holes sucking the cold away?) but none of these theories could blame the burning of fossil fuels on Earth.  So let’s drop the global warming myth once and for all.

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