Flat-Earth Theologians Coming to St. Paul’s University!

Picture this lecture:

Ladies and gentlemen, it is an exquisite joy and honour to make a presentation before such an illustrious gathering of minds. It is so very important for geniuses like us — quite possibly the most illuminated gathering since the dawn of humanity — to share our views and impart our wisdow for the bettermen of mankind.

As you well know, I represent the Flat-Earth Astronomy Association of Canada. Today, I will be presenting the results of my latest research, which covers three key topics:

  1. Fresh estimates on the width of the plateau of the Earth
  2. Revised guidelines on how far west of Ottawa we can safely travel before falling off the plateau into the infinite abyss
  3. New measurements of the exact flavour of cheese of which the Moon is composed.

We all know that if an astronomer went to a scientific conference and gave a speech like that, not only would he be laughed off the podium and thrown out of the conference, but his scientific accreditation/license would probably be revoked because he’s holding positions that have been long discredited through science. The only way to hold that the Earth is flat (or that the Moon is made of cheese) would be to throw out centuries of scientific discoveries and even photographs of the Earth from space.

It’s the same deal with respect to the Vatican III conference to be held later this month at St. Paul’s University. Theologians that argue for abortion, contraception or same-sex marriage are a laughing stock and a disgrace to their profession because they’re holding positions that have long been proven wrong. The Church didn’t invent its positions on these issues out of thin air. They aren’t based on a diktat by the Pope and they aren’t simply quotes from the Bible. It’s a lot more sophisticated than that. They are rooted in a thorough understanding of the nature of humans, the origins of life, the experience of human struggles with vice and the consequences of our actions, all of which have firm underpinnings in modern medical and social science. A Catholic theologian cannot support abortion, contraception or same-sex marriage without making some serious blunders with respect to logic, experience, science and the natural law.

It’s kind of ironic that in many respects science is only catching up to Church wisdom. For example, with the advent of DNA measurement in the last 20 years, science is only now fully understanding how distinct an embryo is from its mother from the moment of conception. Recent secular scientific studies are revealing the ills of premarital sex, how children of same-sex couples fare worse than other kids, how condoms ruin the joys of sex, how contraception is bankrupting government programs and causing health problems among women, how abortion leads to higher rates of breast cancer, how family breakdown is an economic catastrophe for women, and how humans are intrinsically weak in the face of temptation. These are not Christian studies, these are secular studies, many of which were published in peer-reviewed journals.

So when some theologians come around and ignore thousands of years of observational experience and recent scientific findings, you know right away that their positions are detached from reality, bordering on delusional, and purely based on ideology. Let’s face it, these progressives don’t object to Church teachings because they have suddenly “discovered” some new logic that contradicts the existing body of literature. They’re motivated by the desire for ease, pleasure and lessened responsibility. That’s the real driver. Everything they say is just a rationalization for wanting to slack off, avoid responsibility and not have to deal with a nagging conscience when consequences kick in.

But since they have lots of fancy degrees, they mislead many. Just as most people aren’t experts in astronomy or physics, likewise most people aren’t experts on morality. In both cases, most people believe what the elites tell them. Which is why faithful Catholics get irritated when events like Vatican III are held without an appropriate response from ecclesiastical authorities.

Let me make it even more practical for the skeptics out there. Suppose some rogue scientists took over the curriculum at most physics faculties across North America and started teaching phony laws of physics. Since so much of the advanced manufacturing on our continent relies on accurate physics, the consequences of this takeover would catastrophic. Faulty buildings would crumble, cars would run off the road, planes would crash and satellites would fall out of the sky. Our society would be paralyzed. How long would such a situation be allowed to endure? About 30 seconds. Government authorities would step in speedily, but before that, companies would have already had the universities purged because  businesses can’t sell stuff that don’t work.

What I described as a hypothetical situation for physics has been the reality of theology for over 40 years. And the consequences have been equally catastrophic, not just in the Church but in society at large with the disintegration of the family, serial financial crises worldwide and an economic meltdown stemming from a rampage of unbridled self-interest. Speaking as an economist that spent the better part of the last three years monitoring the economic crisis, I can assure you that its causes have everything to do with faulty ethics and morality (that’s a post for another day). Heck, the entire Western civilization could disappear due to a lack of babies combined with the vanishing motivation to promote human rights abroad due to an apathetic relativism and political correctness towards less tolerant cultures. Just witness Obama bending over backward to apologize to the Muslims that killed his ambassador to Libya. “My bad. America promises to never build anymore consulates along the path of your mortar launchers.” 

With everything that has happened, you’d think ecclesiastic authorities would have taken this more seriously.

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