Frank Jerry provides some basic, but solid evidence of why Catholics pray to and venerate the Mother of Jesus.
I think you probably have heard everything I have to say on this topic, but anyhow here is how I would approach these arguments that your friend presents:
She stated it is wrong to pray to Mary, also that she does not believe God hears Mary's prayers over her own.
As you already told her, the Catholic Church doesn't teach that we should "worship" Mary as we do God. I am assuming that she would agree that it is okay for each of us to ask one another to pray for each other. I think if you first tried to help her to understand the Catholic Church's teaching on the Communion of Saints, it would help make Mary's intercession a little easier for her to accept. Those that die in God's grace are not cut off from the vine. Jesus' speaking of the vine and St. Paul's teachings on us being the body of Christ make this very clear. (Jn 15:1-6, Rom 12:3-8, 1Cor 12:12-26) Love doesn't end at death. Those that die in Christ are more alive then we are.
(Mark 12:26) As for the dead being raised, have you not read in the Book of Moses, in the passage about the bush, how God told him, "I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob"? He is not the God of the dead but of the living.
And they also are concerned about our welfare. (Luke 9:30-31)
We are told to intercede for one another (1 Tim 2:1) and also told that the fervent prayer of a righteous person is very powerful (Jam 5:16). Since death doesn't sever us from the body of Christ and since the prayer of a righteous person is so powerful, then why wouldn't a person want Mary (most blessed among women) to pray for him or her? A clear example of those in heaven interceding for us on earth can be found in the book of Revelations.
Rev 5:8 - And when he had taken the book, the four beasts and four and twenty elders fell down before the Lamb, having every one of them harps, and golden vials full of odours, which are the prayers of saints.
Rev 8: 3-4 - And another angel came and stood at the altar, having a golden censer; and there was given unto him much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne. And the smoke of the incense, which came with the prayers of the saints, ascended up before God out of the angel's hand.
A good question to bring up is, "How do they know what our prayers are in the first place?".
Another point which should be brought up is the prefigurement of the heavenly kingdom in the Old Testament. The angel Gabriel proclaims in Luk 1:32 that Jesus will be given the throne of David his father, and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end. Jesus is our new King for all time. It is very interesting to study the Royal household of a Near Eastern kingdom in Old testament times. The queen of the kingdom was not the wife of the king...since he had many wives, but was the king's mother. She had an official position in the kingdom and was called the g'birah or Great Lady. This title implied a special dignity and special powers. For biblical evidence of this, take a look at 1Kings2:12-20. Here we see Bathsheba (queen mother and the mother of King Solomon) being asked to be an intercessor to the King for Adonijah who knows that the King can't refuse his mother's requests. How does the King honor his mother? When Bathsheba goes to visit her son, the king stands up to meet her and pay her homage. Then he sits down on his throne and places a throne on his right side for his mother to sit on. Sound familiar? As a side note, Mary being the spouse of the Holy Spirit, his Bride, just as we the Church are the Bride of Christ, sits on a throne in heaven as we shall do. (Rev 3:21)
Can the bible be any clearer? Just as we don't worship a sculpture or a painting and take away honor from the artist who created it by admiring and esteeming the work of art, so to when it comes to Mary. When we honor and exalt God's greatest creation, Mary, ultimately we give honor and worship to God Himself. I think most Protestants should be reminded that Mary is still Jesus' mother and Jesus still honors her as such. We can all relate to a mother's love for her child and a child's love for their mother. The love we feel for our mothers is nothing compared to the love Jesus has for Mary. It is a perfect love. Because of his love for us Jesus didn't leave us as orphans or in a broken home as is the case in many homes today. He left us a mother, his mother. What more could one ask for?
I told her that it was not recorded as many things were not, that is handed down to us thru Church tradition, which of course she then said "tradition gets perverted over time"
If we were speaking of man made traditions only, your friend would have a case on her hands. But we are speaking of Sacred Tradition, which the bible itself speaks of and differentiates from the other. The bible is clear:
2 Thel 2:15: Therefore, brothers, stand firm, and hold fast to the traditions that you were taught, either by an oral statement or by a letter of ours.
Just as God preserved the Bible(written Tradition) through his Church, so too has he preserved the Sacred Tradition (oral Tradition) through his Church. Again, I would refer you to an article I wrote which presents an argument that demands the honest Protestant who follows it to ADMIT the existence of Sacred Tradition.
In fact, a great argument to raise with your friend since she denies her need to accept Sacred Tradition is the argument of the knowledge of the biblical canon as we know it today. Most Protestants are handed a nicely leather bound bible and never question where it came from. To them, the 27 books of the New testament fell from heaven conveniently bound in one book. Ask your friend, since she claims not to accept any extrabiblical tradition, how she knows which books belong in the canon of scripture. No where in the bible will you find Jesus or his apostles EVER giving a list of the books which should be included in the bible. In fact, the last book of the bible wasn't even written until possibly 60 years after the death of Christ. So the fact of the matter is, is that knowledge of the limited number of books which we accept in our bible today was given to us by an infallible decision made by the Church and accepted by us today as an extra-biblical Sacred Tradition which we MUST accept. To do otherwise is to cease to be a Christian.
Frank Jerry
The Catholic Legate
May 14, 2004