Conservative/Liberal Humour

If a *conservative* is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.

If a *liberal* is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.


If a *conservative* doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.

If a *liberal *doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a *conservative* sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.

If a *liberal *wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.


If a *conservative* is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.

If a *liberal* is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
 

If a person of colour is *conservative*, they see themselves as independently successful.

Their *liberal * counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
 

If a *conservative* is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.

A *liberal* wonders who is going to take care of him.
 

If a *conservative* doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.

*Liberals* demand that those they don’t like be shut down.


If a *conservative* is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.

A *liberal *non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless its a foreign religion, of course!)


If a *conservative *decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.

A *liberal* demands that the rest of us pay for his.

One thought on “Conservative/Liberal Humour

  1. If a conservative is a progressive conservative, they do not say anything they just infiltrate with their view until they are the majority.

    If a liberal is a progressive, they are quiet and only pose as a liberal until they do speak out their foolishness. An example. their pro abortion stand in paper today.

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